December 10
How do bullying, discrimination, harassment and violence at work make you feel?
How you feel, is in a way up to you. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing.
know that when in survival mode we all subconsciously choose either a fight, flight or freeze response. In my opinion the freeze response is the worst because then you become a sitting duck and events at your workplace could push you over the edge.
Revenge thoughts
A colleague told me that he thought for years how to kill his boss. He had all kinds of visions on how to accomplish this. He knew however that he had to stop doing this when he was thinking about ways to get rid of the body. I thought it was very funny as the colleague was not the violent type. It did give me an insight into how desperate and powerless one can feel when constantly in the firing line of a person in authority that just has it in for you. When thinking about these scenarios it does give some comic relieve in the short term. It is however not good bombarding your brain with such negative thoughts.
Is confusion one of the negative feelings you have?
Often victims of bullying (and I see the other bad behaviours as sub-categories of bullying) don’t know what is wrong; they just know that they are unhappy at work. In my experience you will feel confused when your boss, manager or supervisor is telling you one thing but doing another. Or when your company requires certain behaviours like honesty but the authority figure is telling you to lie to customers. Employees are often accessed on undisclosed criteria in their performance appraisals or you are told to do one thing and the very next day that information is wrong. If this is happening to you, know that you are being bullied at work and take action.
Are you showing your employer freezing apathy?
According to the Google definition apathy is a “lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.
Synonyms are: indifference, lack of interest, lack of enthusiasm, lack of concern, un-interestedness, unresponsiveness, impassivity, passivity, passiveness, detachment, dispassion, dispassionateness, lack of involvement, coolness” to name a few. Your employer will notice these characteristics and may come to the conclusion that you are just not caring about your work. Make sure you know what your state of mind is.
There is a kaleidoscope of emotions that you could feel. No one can really help you but yourself. You will have to be active in your rehabilitation. It will take time to get your body on even keel if you have suffered for a long time.
Is your employer right?
Please don’t let anyone hang a tag around your neck. It is not uncommon for people in authority to say an employee has a mental problem when it is not the case. Often they say it to find excuses for their lack of management skills. Be prepared to stand up for yourself and let your employer know where they are falling short of goodwill, natural justice, fairness and trust.
You could be experiencing isolation at work, reduced productivity and affective blunting. Affective blunting is when you are so depressed and deprived of sleep that you don’t show or show very little emotion, your face is like a mask and your voice is monotone and flat. This happens because you are too tired and you just cannot muster the energy to be affective or animated. Often you don’t even know that this is happening to you. If you have not already spoken to your GP, do so now.
You are feeling physically lousy and unwell? Your biggest problem could be that you have developed severe insomnia. Chronic insomnia could touch every facet of your life. The health implications are huge. The Southern Cross website is helpful in this regard.
When you feel so depressed and powerless your co-workers could think you deserve to be singled out for punishment from authority figures. Please don’t allow this to happen to you.
Your responsibility
Your physical and mental health is your responsibility. A prescription is a short term solution. Your GP could help you to reach a long term solution. It might be that you have to leave your workplace. Take heart, the lessons that you have learned will be very handy in your next endeavour. Train yourself to see the goodness in each outcome. Elbert Hubbard’s said in 1915 “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. This proverbial phrase is used to encourage optimism and a can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune. You will only be able to do this once you have taken care of your health.