December 17
What can I do when I feel like a victim at my workplace?
In employment matters this definition of a victim is relevant for this discussion: “a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.” This is a very broad category and at times we all feel like this, but we are able to move on. Constant ill treatment like bullying, discrimination, harassment and violence is not so easy to shake off. Because of isolation you can get more introverted and due to a lack of sleep, depression and many other factors become passive and unsure as to what to do to break the impasse.
What are the characteristics of victim behaviour?
The characteristics of victim behaviour are defined in Wikipedia as: “In the most general sense, a victim is anyone who experiences injury, loss, or misfortune as a result of some event or series of events. This experience, however, is insufficient for the emergence of a sense of victimhood. It has been suggested that individuals define themselves as a victim if they believe that:
- they were harmed;
- they were not responsible for the occurrence of the harmful act;
- they were under no obligation to prevent the harm;
- the harm constituted an injustice in that it violated their rights (if inflicted by a person) and/or in that they possessed qualities (e.g., strength or goodness of character) making them persons whom that harm did not befit
- they deserve sympathy.
The desire of sympathy is crucial in that the mere experience of a harmful event is not enough for the emergence of the sense of being a victim. In order to have this sense there is the need to perceive the harm as undeserved, unjust and immoral, an act that could not be prevented by the victim. The need to obtain empathy can then emerge.”
Is it possible to predict who in the workforce might have a tendency to become a victim?
A study of Karina Lind, et al on predicting victim behaviour concludes: “the result shows that personality patterns in general do not easily differentiate targets of workplace bullying from non- targets.”
Are you a victim?
Click here to find out
Positive steps to take when you are feeling like a victim at work
- Notice with gratitude all the good and special things in your life. List it and keep on adding to it, and enjoy the blessings still around you.
- Forgive those with the bullying or other negative behaviour at work. Yes, we know you don’t feel like it but remember the forgiveness is for your benefit. This will prevent you from becoming bitter and twisted. Just do it. Over time your emotions will grow into this new mindset.
- Give yourself a break. Often we are harder on ourselves than anyone else. Create new pathways in your brain. Click here to see how to create new pathways to your brain.
- Reach out and help other people. It is very rewarding and you will learn that your problems are not unique and that you can overcome them.
- Make a list of all your good qualities. Yes, you have many. Keep updating it.
- Do something. Attend one of our workshops before you resign, let us prepare you to go to mediation or to speak to a solicitor. Once you have decided to move forward, you can focus your energy away from being a victim. You will be so glad you did!